The pollsters and pundits have “discovered” a class of people living in America that will never vote for Barack Obama. These Clinton voters are described as “white, low-income, rural, and poorly educated.” There is a simple term for such people – REDNECKS. This article exposes their blatant racism, male chauvinism, and other forms of backward thinking. They have been the guerrilla fighters of the culture wars on the side of the right wing fundamentalists.
Best advice to Obama is to ignore them – as we all should. They are a useless vestage of a past filled with hatred and fear. It has become “campy” to laugh at jokes about “You might be a redneck if.” So keep reading to LOL about the rednecks that are stuck in the mud and the past. It is time for the hippies to take back control of our culture and world from the rednecks – before it is too late!! Be sure to read: Your Vice President Might be a Redneck If: This exposes the real rednecks in Sarah Palin’s family and entourage.
UPDATE – 2010
I am both happy and humbled by the strong passionate response I have received on this particular article (it is the second most popular post with over 40,000 readers.) Sorry if my writing has insulted some people and will continue to do so. My intention was (and remains) to serve as a progressive social commentator and critic. In this article I am drawing on over 30 years of social science research and personal observation (both as hippie and academic.)
But mainly I am holding up a mirror of what Rednecks say about Themselves!! The vast majority of the jokes, pix and others material came from “Redneck-friendly” websites. Please enjoy and laugh – even at yourself.
In fact, you might be surprised to know that I am much more of a “REDNECK” than the average member of the left. In fact, there are many admirable traits of the Redneck mindset and persona that I embrace and encourage.
- I love my freedom and independence.
- I don’t care what others think of me.
- I love original outlaw music (esp. Waylon and Johnny)
- I am adaptive – I reuse stuff in unusual ways.
- I admire living off the grid and going up the country,
- I appreciate farming as the cornerstone of all societies.
Bottom line is that I love the song by David Allen Coe called “Long-haired Redneck” shows the broad and deep nature of the complex images and ideas behind all stereotypes:
Country DJ’s knows that I’m an outlaw.
They’d never come to see me in this dive.
Where bikers stare at cowboys who are laughin’ at the hippies.
Who are prayin’ they’ll get out of here alive.
The loud mouth in the corner’s gettin’ to me.
Talking about my earrings and my hair.
I guess he ain’t read the sign that says I’ve been to prison.
Someone ought to warn him, before I knock him off his chair.
Cause my long hair just can’t cover up my redneck.
I’ve won every fight I’ve ever fought.
And I don’t need some turkey telling me that I ain’t country.
Sayin’ I ain’t worth a damn old, ticket that he bought.
NOW BACK TO ORIGINAL POST (From May 2008)
As former hippies of the sixties and seventies, many of us recall the way we were treated by Rednecks during the Nixon administration and then for the last four decades. Rednecks were the foot soldiers of the silent majority in their persecution of anyone who was not conforming to the straight, white society. In fact, we have been treated to a long-line of redneck presidents who have led our country into the past where dumb white men were in control by luck of their birth.
Think about our recent Commanders in Chief:
- Jimmy Carter was proud to be a redneck peanut farmer from Georgia
- Ronald Regan was the gun-toting cowboy who favored wealthy white men.
- The first George Bush was not a Redneck – but Ivy-League nerd & oil baron.
- Bill Clinton (“Bubba”) was the ultimate, sleazy Redneck – and proud of it.
- George Bush Jr. has tried to come off as a redneck – but is a Poser loser
The most extreme examples of rednecks (e.g., white supremecists and neo-nazis) are recognized as a threat to society. However, our justice system spends little time and resources dealing with this dangerous subculture. So in this article I will Chant Down the dangerous and degenerate redneck subculture that flourishes still in the Appalachian Region of the United State Southeast. I know this first hand – having lived in the most progressive southern state (North Carolina) for over 20 years. I can attest that the picture I am painting of this sub-culture is valid.
A future article will show how Hillary Clinton has won states like West Virginia, Kentucky, Ohio, and Pennsylvania by winning white voters who had high school or lower education and incomes below $50,000. The most common term for these po’ folks is “Redneck.” More derogatory terms include “White Trash” and “Trailer Trash.” Collected here is some of the finest humor and weirdest ideas that characterize the lingering American counterculture – known as Redneck.
Enjoy but beware – these idiots high-jacked our country during Nixon’s promotion of the silent majority. These also are very violent people who hate anything they do not understand (which is a LOT!!). They also are very likely to travel in packs – toting guns and draggin’ huntin’ dawgs. Luckily you can hear and smell their pick-up trucks from a distance. Check out the low-class wedding chapel below:
Definition of Redneck: A slang term, usually for a rural white southerner who is politically conservative, racist, and a religious fundamentalist (see fundamentalism). This term is generally considered offensive. It originated in reference to agricultural workers, alluding to how the back of a person’s neck will be burned by the sun if he works long hours in the fields.
The American Heritage® New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition
Copyright © 2005 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
According to Wikipedia, Redneck has two general uses: first, as a pejorative used by outsiders, and, second, as a term used by members within that group. To outsiders, it is generally a term for those of Southern or Appalachian rural poor backgrounds — or more loosely, rural poor to working-class people of rural extraction. (Appalachia also includes large parts of Pennsylvania, New York and other states.) Within that group, however, it is used to describe the more downscale members. Rednecks span from the poor to the working class.
Generally, there is a continuum from the stereotypical redneck (a derisive term) to the country person; yet there are differences. In contrast to country people, stereotypical rednecks tend not to attend church, or do so infrequently. They also tend to use alcohol and gamble more than their church-going neighbors. Further, “politically apathetic” may describe some members of this group. Until the late 1970s they tended toward populism and were solidly behind the Democratic party, but have supported Republicans since the Carter presidency. They are less homogeneous than the country people and other Southern whites. Many Southern celebrities like Jeff Foxworthy and Roy D. Mercer embrace the redneck label. It is used both as a term of pride and as a derogatory epithet, sometimes to paint country people and/or their lifestyle as being lower class.
The word “Redneck” was used by the Hippies as a slur because short hair gave no protection from the sunlight, causing the neck to become red. Also a red neck was seen as a sign of an angry/enraged person in contrast to the peace/love movement. The slur “Redneck” was used in retort to the freak/hippie being called a “dirty long-haired hippie”. Any persons, despite geographic location, were referred to as being “Redneck” by the Hippies if they exhibited hatred for them or dislike for long hair.
This caused the term to spread to many people groups and geographic areas. The word “Redneck” being used as a slur by Hippies began to change after 1972. This was caused by long hair becoming more accepted in rural communities. The rise of Southern Rock helped popularize long hair among rural youth. Country and western stars of the South (such as Willie Nelson) also began to grow longer hair making it more accepted.
The two cultures of short hair and long hair began to blend, but these and other distinctions can still clearly be seen in Shel Silverstein’s song “Redneck Hippie Romance” recorded by Bobby Bare in 1977. As the popularity of long hair increased, the use of “redneck” as a slur for people who hated those with long hair decreased. The end of the Hippie era saw the final demise of the word being used in this way and the term Redneck continue to evolve in comedy and popular culture.
The recent prosperity of the New South changed the social status of the redneck. The 20th century ideas of Southern upward mobility, which required dropping or modifying a regional accent and joining the mainstream, was considered the norm for the region. Exceptions were made for politicians and college football coaches, for whom a drawl was still required for regional credibility. Newfound prosperity allowed rednecks to cling to their old ways and reject the status quo of modernity.
In the 1990s, when Jeff Foxworthy drawled “you might be a redneck …” he wasn’t just needling folks who had ever “fought over an inner tube.” In one of his stand-up routines, Foxworthy summed up the condition as “a glorious absence of sophistication.” Foxworthy also rejected the misconception that a redneck has to be a Southerner, saying “A lot of people think you have to talk like this”(referring to his Georgia accent) “to be a redneck. That is not true. I’ve been all over this country, there’s rednecks in every single state.” According to Slate columnist Bryan Curtis, “Foxworthy was also preaching to the newly minted white middle class, those who had ditched the pickup for an Audi and their ancestral segregation for affirmative action.” According to University of Georgia professor James C. Cobb, “Now, feeling relatively secure and closer to the mainstream, they rebel against acting respectable, embracing this counterculture hero—the ‘redneck’ who is what he is, and doesn’t give a damn what anybody thinks.”
The Grand Ole Opry and Hee Haw are popular entertainments from years past. These shows, as well as the entertainers Hank Williams, Grandpa Jones and Jerry Clower, have seen lasting popularity within the redneck community, as well as forging opinions in the minds of those on the outside. Entertainers like Minnie Pearl used homespun comedy as much as music to create a lasting persona, and sophisticated and intelligent musicians like Earl Scruggs and Lester Flatt appeared on shows such as The Beverly Hillbillies, lending credence to broad humor about uncomplicated rural Americans. Some musicians who toured the country in tailored suits were put on stage in overalls surrounded by hay bales when they appeared on the television show Hee Haw.
According to James C. Cobb, a history professor at the University of Georgia, the redneck comedian “provided a rallying point for bourgeois and lower-class whites alike. With his front-porch humor and politically outrageous, the redneck comedian created an illusion of white equality across classes.” Johnny Russell was nominated for a Grammy Award in 1973 for his recording of “Rednecks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer,” parlaying the “common touch” into financial and critical success. Country music singer Gretchen Wilson titled one of her songs “Redneck Woman” on her 2004 album Here for the Party. Rockabilly and Southern Rock are among Rock and Roll musical genres favored by stereotypical rednecks. In particular, “Free Bird” and “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd are considered “redneck anthems.”
The TV series (and recent movie of the same name) – “The Dukes of Hazzard” – followed the adventures of two good ol’ boys, Bo and Luke Duke, their uncle Jesse and their cousin Daisy, living in an unincorporated area of the fictional Hazzard County, in Georgia, racing around in their modified 1969 Dodge Charger, “The General Lee,” evading corrupt Boss Hogg and his inept county sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane. Consistent with a redneck stereotype, Bo and Luke had been sentenced to probation for illegal transportation of moonshine. In recent years, the comedic stylings of Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White, Bill Engvall, and Larry the Cable Guy have become popular through “Blue Collar Comedy Tour” and “Blue Collar TV” television show and film. Foxworthy’s definition of redneck is “a glorious absence of sophistication and it can be part time or full time, but most people are guilty of it at least from time to time.”
Top 10 Ways to know if you are using a Redneck’s Computer…
10. The monitor is up on little blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have toebacky stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to four.
5. Every password is “Bubba.”
4. There’s a gun rack mounted on the side of the computer.
3. There’s a Skoal can used for your beverage coaster.
2. The keyboard is painted in camouflage.
AND the number 1 way to tell if a Redneck has been working on a computer is…
1. The mouse is referred to as the “critter.”
Redneck Theme Song by Merle Haggard – “Okie from Muskogee”
We don’t smoke marijuana in Muskogee;
We don’t take our trips on LSD
We don’t burn our draft cards down on Main Street;
We like livin’ right, and bein’ free.
I’m proud to be an Okie from Muskogee,
A place where even squares can have a ball
We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse,
And white lightnin’s still the biggest thrill of all
We don’t make a party out of lovin’;
We like holdin’ hands and pitchin’ woo;
We don’t let our hair grow long and shaggy,
Like the hippies out in San Francisco do.
And I’m proud to be an Okie from Muskogee,
A place where even squares can have a ball.
We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse,
And white lightnin’s still the biggest thrill of all.
Leather boots are still in style for manly footwear;
Beads and Roman sandals won’t be seen.
Football’s still the roughest thing on campus,
And the kids here still respect the college dean.
We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse,
In Muskogee, Oklahoma, USA.
- You think “loading the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk.
- You own a home that is mobile and five cars that aren’t.
- You think the stock market has a fence around it.
- You burn your yard rather than mow it.
- Your wife has ever said, “Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.”
- You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
- The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
- You have the local taxidermist’s number on speed dial.
- You’ve ever hit a deer with your car…deliberately.
- You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
- You clean your fingernails with a stick.
- Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
- You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
- There are more than five McDonald’s bags in your car.
- The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
- You’ve ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
- You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
- You’ve ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
- You think “taking out the trash” means taking your in-laws to a movie.
- The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
- You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
- People hear your car a long time before they see it.
- You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
- You think the French Riviera is foreign car.
- You go to a stock car race and don’t need a program.
- You have ever used lard in bed.
- You own more than three shirts with cut off sleeves.
- You have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass.
- Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
- Directions to your house include “Turn off the paved road.”
- Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
- You ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
- Jack Daniels makes you list of most admired people.
- You consider the fifth grade your senior year.
- You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that doesn’t run).
- You have a hefty bag where the window of your car should be.
- Redman Chewing Tobacco sends you a Christmas card.
- You view the next family reunion as a chance to meet girls.
- Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
- Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.
- You think suspenders are a type of shirt.
- Going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight.
- More than one living relative is named after a civil war general.
- You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
- You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
- Your family tree doesn’t have any branches.
- Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
- The only condiment on your dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
- The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
- The diploma hanging in your den contains the words “Trucking Institute”.
- The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is “What the hell are you looking at, Shithead?”
- You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
- The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are “Howdy!” “HEY!” or “How Y’all Doin?”
- Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
- You think that the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
- You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
- You consider a family reunion a good place to pick up girls.
- Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
- You won’t stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
- You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.
- You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
- You’ve ever made change in the offering plate.
- You consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve…
- You have started a petition to change the National Anthem to “Georgia on My Mind”.
- You call your boss “Buddy”, on a regular basis.
- You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
- You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
- After making love you ask your date to roll down the window.
- You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
- Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.
- When you see a sign that says “Say No To Crack,” it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
- You gene pool doesn’t have a “deep end”
- Your `huntin dawg’ cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
- Ya celebrate groundhog day (cause ya believe in it!!)
- You’ve been on TV describing the sound of a tornado.
- Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
- You dated your daddy’s current wife in high school.
- You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
- You’ve ever hit a deer with your car… on purpose! “
- Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
- On your job application under “SEX” you put “As often as possible.”
- You’re a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
- In tough situations you ask yourself, “What would Curly do?”
- Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
- You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
- You replace a flat tire on your truck with a tire from your house.
- You wear cowboy boots with shorts.
- You buy your wife tube socks at the flea market.
- You consider orange peels left on the coffee table as potpourri.
- You grow flowers in an old commode in your front yard.
- You can’t take a bath because beer is iced down in your tub.
- You come home from the garbage dump with more than you went with.
Selections from the Redneck Dictionary
- HEIDI – (noun) – Greeting
- HIRE YEW – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: “Heidi, hire yew?”
- BARD – (verb) – Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow”. Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”
- MUNTS – (noun) – A calendar dvision. Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts.”
- THANK – (verb) – Cognitive process. Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”
- BARE – (noun) – An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops and yeast. Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a nutter bare.”
- IGNERT – (adjective) – Not smart. See “Arkansas native”. Usage: “Them Bammer boys shore are ignert!”
- FAR – (noun) – A conflagration. Usage: “If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the all in my pickup truck, that thang’s gonna catch far.”
- TAR – (noun) – A rubber wheel. Usage: “Gee, ah hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck.”
- RETARD – (verb) – To stop working. Usage: “My grampaw retard at age 65.”
- FAT – (noun and verb) – A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: “You younguns keep fat’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup yuh.”
- CHEER – (adverb) – In this place. Usage: “Jest set that bare rat cheer.”
- FARN – (adjective) – Not domestic. Usage: “I cuddin’t unnerstan a wurd he sed… mus be from some farn country.”
- ARE – (noun) – A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen. Usage: “He cain’t breath … give ‘im some are!”
- BOB WAR – (noun) – A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: “Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence.”
- SEED – (verb) – Past tense of “to see”. Usage: “Ah ain’t never seed Noo Yawk City.”
- GUBMINT – (noun) – A bureaucratic institution. Usage: “Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.”
- FIXIN’ – (verb) – Preparing to. Usage: “Ah’s just fixin’ to do that now.”
TIPS FROM THE REDNECK BOOK OF MANNERS
- Never take a beer to a job interview.
- Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
- It’s considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
- If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
- Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
*** PERSONAL HYGIENE ***
- While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one’s OWN truck keys.
- Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
- Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman’s jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
*** DATING (Outside the Family) ***
- Always offer to bait your date’s hook, especially on the first date.
- Be aggressive. Let her know you’re interested: “I’ve been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago.”
- Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say! 10:00 PM; others might say “Monday.” If the latter is the answer, it is the man’s responsibility to get her to school on time.
- Always have a positive comment about your date’s appearance, such as, “ya sure don’t sweat much for a fat broad.”
*** DRIVING ETIQUETTE ***
- Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
- When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
- Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
- When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
- Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
- Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
Selected Jokes about Rednecks
Why is it hard to solve a redneck murder:
All the DNA is the same and there are no dental records.
A redneck died and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow.
However, she can’t touch it until she turns 14.
Down home, folks now go to some movies in groups of 18 or more.
They were told 17 and under are not admitted.
The minimum drinking age down home has been raised to 32.
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
Down home, reruns of “Hee Haw” are called documentaries.
How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There’s tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
Down home, we’ve got a new $3,000,000 State Lottery.
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
Recently, the Governor’s Mansion burned down.
In fact, it took out the whole trailer park.
A State Trooper stopped a pickup truck.
He asked the driver, “Got any ID?”
The driver said, “Boutwhat?”
Implications of Redneck Culture for America’s Future
Although “Redneck Humor” has become big business – thanks a lot to our Rube, Redneck presidents Bubba Bill and Goofy George. However, the threat this fringe counterculture poses to our democratic republic must not be taken lightly. In this final section I will summarize some of the key impacts and implications for our American society and culture. Future articles will focus more specifically on the implications of all this for the Obama social movemet. Time to keep a much closer eye on these dangerous fools.
Typically, rednecks live in rural areas and avoid urban settings. They are proud of their pick-up trucks, dogs and ability to drink lots of beer. They typically work industrial or manual labor jobs – which are so threatened by immigrants and outsourcing. The majority do not have anything beyond a high school education. They depend on the “Good ‘Ol Boy” system of advancement. Most are petty criminals that rely on kin networks to keep out of jail. They are suspicious of anyone who acts educated — these people are perceived as nerds or sell-outs. Rednecks tend to speak with a Southern accent and avoid using big words – which they may know big words but feel socially constrained from using them. People who do are identified as outsiders.
Rednecks support major brands such as Camel, Coca-Cola and Nascar. Their recreation includes watching television, hunting, fishing, and shooting. They detest reading (other than romance novels or the sports pages of a newspaper). Rednecks tend to be socially conservative. They are extremely defensive against outsiders and fear anyone different from them. They have learned to avoid those who do not adopt their culture. Many rednecks are also Evangelical Christians. They will not hesitate telling strangers they “are going to hell” if you are not also Baptist or a similar denomination. Many never travel outside their home region. Places such as Reno, Bramson, Pigeon Forge, and Myrtle Beach are considered to be the ultimate vacation spots. Best if there are cheap trailer parks.
Most rednecks long for the “good old days” before the sixties. Back when women and blacks “knew their place.” This is very divisive and should be ignored by the Obama campaign. They are very stubborn about their conservative beliefs. They believe that liberals have lesser moral values. Part of this stubbornness also stems from their idea that their culture is under attack. Hence they listen to conservative preachers and talk show hosts that reinforce their fear and prejudice. This stubbornness can have many negative effects — it can contribute to false knowledge of the world and the culture within and outside of the Southeast. For this reason, most rednecks will deny that the Civil War was about slavery, referring to the “War of Northern Aggression.”
Finally, most rednecks are closet racists. They will vehemently deny this but racist remarks are often made among white groups. Their extreme country cousins include skinheads, neo-nazis and other discredited relics of the past. They are outwardly friendly towards minorities but they certainly have very large reservations about hiring or becoming close friends with them. This to reassure each other that no one in their presence is a cultural sellout. Clearly this is a dangerous sub-culture that should even be considered a threat to homeland security.